Last weekend I went home to Pangasinan to escape from the toxic life in our office. Busy season is already taking its peak in audit. As the mercury rises for the stress level in our office same as well for the reporting dockets, audit files and papers piling up in my desk. My files never goes down; it grows higher and higher each day. I want to finish them sooner than the April 15 deadline for tax so as not to clog my schedules. But time comes that I feel so drained same with my cellphone beeping, begging and calling for a charger.

So I went home and spent time sleeping on my precious bed. I also attended my friend’s birthday “bash”. I did not stay long for another “mahaba-habang inuman”. I bailed out early, went home, dived straight to my bed and spent more time sleeping. Deprived from a long-night sleep for weeks, I love the feeling of getting charged-up sleeping (hay happiness!).

While I was enjoying my charging-up for another grueling week, I got the chance to read old newspapers at home. My father always buys newspapers.  I inherited from him the habit of reading broadsheets. From Bata Batuta to Funny Komiks to Scoreboard and Sports Magazine and now Inquirer Newspaper, that is the evolution of my reading (oops I forgot FHM lol!). Way back during high school I used to cut articles of different topics and compile them. Most of the time I collected Youngblood articles of Inquirer. It has been my fascination reading articles wrote by young people about the topics I know I could relate with. I always look forward for articles about life, inspiring stories, testimonies of people of my age while I don’t give much attention the articles about politics and disgruntlement to government. I guess I am already feed-up of too much “serious” issues and I want to relax my mind reading “light” stories.

While I was enjoying my siesta reading, I came across to some meaningful lines from articles I read. I took- out my pen and used notepad and started writing down the lines. I initially thought that these lines could be used as attention-catcher status or lines in Facebook (thanks to advent of social network). Some of the lines are also good to be sent as text messages to special ones and once special. Some lines I listed may be considered simple to some but for me it has extra effect (me tama) in my life. I can relate to those lines so I keep them in my file. Credit must be given to those writers who are so witty and probably awake when God showered the gift of gab. I forgot their names and I hope I could still check their names back in the old newspapers where I took the lines.

Here are the lines I selected:

• “Whenever we go off searching for something, we never find what we started the search for. We find something better than we ever hoped.”

• “I preferred the peace and quiet of home to the late-night parties of the city.”

• “There is so much romance in being alone.”

• “Have you tried to stop searching for love everywhere else, and begun to realize that you have all that you need with and around you?”

• “We all choose to risk – and we all should. Because risk tests our courage, and pain strengthens our resiliency.”

• “Remember that love does not want to be found. It finds us.”

•  “You are like shirt that gets better and better as it is worn.”

• “I burst out in laughter until I had to wipe my happy tears off my eyes.”

• “I missed her smile and infectious laughter.”

• “Accepting changes is really the most effective ways to move forward because there is nothing one can do to hold them back or reverse them.”

My list ended with this simple line:

“You’re going to be just fine!”

So simple yet I guess all of us need that line in our life. In every problem and in every struggle we face always remember God is good and….

“You’re going to be just fine!”

I read this line from my manager’s note in our office communicator. I immediately relate to these three words because for the past few days I am losing also my touch. I became too lax to my work. I also became too “playful” in the office- in local parlance “pasaway” na ako. The enthusiasm that I used to have when I was still a newly hire was gone. The energetic Dorm Boy ran out of battery. In short I really lost my touch.

This year I have a great hope for a change in my life. I know my remaining days in audit are numbered. I think another chapter of my life is about to end and a new one is about to start. Leaving the pages of my audit life is a bittersweet part of my career. From a promdi fresh board passer, I was a lost sheep in the field. Going back to my first days in Manila, I couldn’t believe I survived alone in Metropolis. I have no relatives to seek for shelter. I have no idea about Makati and the offices I am heading back then. Thanks to my college friends who adopted me and helped me join a humble audit firm, I began to gain my spark in the corporate world.

They said days are so fast in audit. I believe them now. It’s really true! Weeks went so fast and months were like moments in audit. If time flies fast in audit, so does how I gain fast a number of friends… close friends to perfectly describe them. I consider my batchmates in audit as my second family. They are like my brothers and sisters from different mothers. I enjoyed the time spending overtimes, out-of-town engagement with them; funny stories about our respective clients; and the little hilarious bloopers we all have in the office. We created codes and terminologies only our group could comprehend. We shared same interest which made our group so cohesive (parang Elmer’s Glue lang).

Sad to say just like all good songs, all things need to end. Most of my close buddies in audit began to pack their things and moved on to the next level (lumelevel up na ang mga mokongs). They left audit in their due times (parang me expiration date sa audit) and here I am tonight, writing, and contemplating my next move. Would I move out, follow them and see the other side of the corporate life or would I stay for good. Things would have been fine if other factors were not that material as to speak. Practicality dictates going out weighs greater.

Joining the bandwagon of exodus of auditors in the firm either bound to abroad or to high paying companies, is not a simple decision. I am thinking about my future, the growth of my career and the financial freedom I am seeking for. Narrating other minor factors will only make this article a boring one. I rather stop here and continue planning my grand exit.

I will forever be thankful to the firm for giving me the chance to taste what audit life really is. For the past two years, the firm nourishes me both financially and intellectually speaking. Indeed passing through audit will surely make someone a better person. I am speaking on my behalf and based on the person I am now. I learn the value of patience even though my nature is an impatient bastard. I learn to respect my boss and co-workers and most of all lessen the mixture of professionalism and personal life. Boundaries are needed to establish discipline towards work and dealing with people. If they say busy people are losing their social life, believe me it is true, but you will create a better and firmer spiritual life. Faith to God in dealing deadlines and pressures both from superiors and clients will be the last rope to grip when all things are going down.

So where am I? I must be writing about losing my touch. I guess I am really losing my touch. I should be writing about it and not about losing my audit life. What a terrible writer am I now!